No good game-watching goes without something upon which to snack. IdleGuy.com offers some quick and easy solutions to the inevitable quest for munchables that arrive right after your guests pick their seats.
In the sidebar, some ideas for beverages are offered.
OK, so the gang's headed over to your house for an afternoon of football viewing and you know they all expect you to deliver the goods on the feedbag, meaning, you are going to need a lot more than chips, dips, and salsa to satisfy the hungry horde.
Pizza. Sure, simple, and maybe not as affordable as last season, and it does take some of the culinary chores off your hands. After all, you want to enjoy the games, not slave over a stove or be prepping snacks in the kitchen all afternoon.
But, Sally doesn't like pepperoni, and Jonah desires anchovies. Difficult choices confront you. Delivery or frozen make-at-home?
Wings? Messy, and without a deep-fryer, sure to elicit strong reprobation from some members of the crew. And, again, spicy hot, sweet and sour, tangy, mild, who knows? Everybody has different tastes, so, you're in quite the quandary with game time just hours ahead.
There's a solution, and the idleguy.com crackpot kitchen has you covered with ideas for entertainment and crowd control. You've got a grill and some skill, so there's nothing outside your range.
First, you have to go with the traditional chips, dips, and salsa, but you need to add your own flair to the mix. Chips - even though they're overpriced and intrinsically bad for your health - continue to be devoured as standard American fare, so, they belong on your shopping list.
Dips come in quite a few varieties, but your local grocery store may only stock a couple of options, the most common being French onion, which, for a football crowd, is like serving vegetables to lions. They're not going to savor such an offering. Ditch the store bought brands of dips and make your own. There are recipes galore on the web, and, if your pantry shelves are properly stocked, you've got all the ingredients to whip up some more exotic dip varieties.
What you'll need as base for dips are mayonnaise, sour cream, and yogurt. Chopped onions, scallions, peppers, olives, chiles (hot peppers), and horseradish will supply plenty of flavor and texture, and spices run the range of your imagination. Top choices for dips are ground black pepper, garlic (fresh, minced, or powdered), cumin, onion powder, coriander, cayenne pepper, parsley, basil, and oregano, depending on hot hot, mild or wild you want your dips. Adding a dash of Adobo, the got-to Hispanic spice blend, gets you into the dippy hall of fame.
Sauces and liquids include Worchester, hot, soy, lemon and/or lime juice, and mustard can also be employed.
Once you establish a base with mayo, sour cream, yogurt, and possibly buttermilk, your on your way to making dip varieties that can range from mild to wild.
As far as salsa is concerned, after the rudimentary corn tortilla chips and blue corn chips, why not make your own? It's not really very hard. If you're the kind of IdleGuy that everybody admires and emulates, you at least have your won garden, flush with heirloom tomatoes and various peppers. Chop them all up, along with some onions, a dollop of of horseradish and you're on your way. Some salsa experts include corn (canned is fine, fresh is obviously better), other, more daring impresarios find green olives stuffed with pimiento or feta cheese and/or black olives takes it to another level altogether.
You put all of these extras on the frozen pizza before it goes into the oven. Keep an eye on cooking time, because the more you add, the longer it's likely to take for everything to get to the proper consistency without ending up with a soggy or overcooked crust. Practice. Football season runs from late August to early February, so, by the time the college playoffs and Super Bowl come around, your friends will be drooling in anticipation for your creative pizza concoctions.
Now, about those chicken wings. They're usually a chore and you'd better make sure to have plenty of napkins on hand if you try this recipe for Grilled Chicken Wings with Seasoned Buffalo Sauce from Jenn Segal's Once Upon A Chef.
The tricks to make grilled wings savory and delicious are a few, like seasoning lightly, cooking over medium heat, and putting on the sauce once they're off the grill. This method assures your grill won't be a complete disaster area, and you get the added bonus of being able to serve them with different sauces or none at all.
There are a few more tips and tidbits, but, we prefer you go right to the recipe source. We don't mind sharing. Read it, follow or make adjustments as you see fit, and amaze your guests!
A few more items to consider are the tried-and-true veggie, cheese and crackers plate, shrimp cocktails (I know, exquisite) that you can master in minutes using store bought cooked shrimp, shisk-ka-bob (no time to share Fearless Rick's infamous recipe, maybe next month), or themed presentations, like sushi, or Chinese, or a Mexican taco table which is easy to accomplish with just some ground beef, a can of refried beans, onions, shredded cheese, guacamole, sour cream, salsa, and taco shells or soft flour tortillas.
The Mexican concept requires some preparation and know-how, especially if you're going for grilled tortillas. Making your own guacamole is easy - and DO NOT USE MAYONNAISE - with a couple of ripe avocados, chopped onions, tomatoes, and a spritz of lime juice.
Last but not least, a party favorite, tortilla pinwheels, which even little kids can make. They require no cooking.
Ingredients include a couple of large, soft flour tortillas, a 16 oz. cream cheese (softened or kept at room temperature), green chiles. Seriously, that's it.
Lay out a tortilla on a flat surface (preferable not a floor).
Spread cream creese over the entire surface, leaving about a half-inch on the edge bare.
Sprinkle on the chiles.
Roll that sucker up end to end. Slice into 1/2-inch portions.
This finished product should look something like this:
Of course, variations are endless using olives, corn, beans, tomatoes, peppers, etc., and whatever spices you like, but the basic tortilla and cream cheese are essential.
The pizza conundrum is easily resolved via the use of what we like to call "enhanced" frozen pizza, by adding your own sausage, pepperoni, peppers, onions, mushrooms, olives, or whatever else you find appealing (even anchovy), along with healthy doses of black pepper, garlic powder, and the elemental grated Parmesan cheese. Add some of your own mozzarella in case you have cheeseheads in the crowd.
The frozen pizza varieties should all be "supreme", which has all the good stuff: cheese, sausage, pepperoni, onions, peppers, olives, and maybe mushrooms, though usually in fairly sparse quantities. Store brands are usually fair choices, either rising or thin crust, depending on your preference, but two name brands stand out. They are Red Baron Classic Crust Supreme, and Tony's Supreme
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Potables for the Football Party
Everybody is going to need something to drink through three to seven hours of non-stop football viewing, so, the proper host or hostess will have to fill that void with soda, juices, adult beverages, liquors, and mixers.
Obviously, the easiest way to figure out the drinking game is to invite only beer drinkers, but, since that's largely impossible and you're almost certain to get some pansy soy boi who wants chai tea (throw that person out, immediately) unless you carefully curate your guest list, you'll need to stock up on beverages, and set up a serve yourself bar.
Besides glasses, stirrers, coasters, and copious quantities of ice, here's what you'll need for a most basic bar.
Juices: tomato, grapefruit, cranberry, pineapple
Mixers: Cola, tonic water, club soda, ginger ale, bottled water
Liquors: Rum, vodka, bourbon, whiskey, scotch, dry vermouth
There's all kinds of blends and concoctions from Red Bull to hard ciders to enhanced seltzers. You might want to grab a number of these oddities to your shopping list.
From the above, your guests can make the basic drinks, like rum and Coke, vodka tonic, whiskey and ginger.
There's not enough space here to delve into a complete bar set-up in this article, but, if your crowd is into exotic drinks, maybe they should watch the games at a bar.
Once you've got your simple self-serve bar set up, you need a good beer selection, and here are some choices which should satisfy 90% of the guzzlers and sippers.
In a pinch, PBR, Pabst Blue Ribbon will do.
Miller Lite is pure swill and Bud Light, well, that's permanently off the list, though Modelo has picked up the flag for the stupid, woke, foreign-based InBev company.
Their beers have a high alcohol content and are generally quite pleasant to the palette. Their golden triple, "La Fin Du Mode" (the end of the world) is euphemistically to die for.
There actually are wine drinkers who like football, though not many of them. Get a few boxed wines, like a Chadonnay and a Merlot and let them have at it.
Putting together a good selection of potables for your football gathering need not be complicated or stressful. Most folks are happy with beer or simple mixed drinks. Beyond that, well, they're on their own.
Happy footballing and tailgating!
If people want margaritas, mai tai, rusty nails, slippery nipples, White Russians, or Long Island iced tea (which you can actually make from the ingredients above), you'll need some things like Triple Sec, Drambouie, or Kahluha.
For your most essential, easy-to-drink in quantity beer, nothing in America tops Yuengling. America's oldest brewery makes a traditional lager that is second to none and also features a very healthy Black & Tan. Yuengling also makes a great pilsner, Octoberfest, a stout dark brewed Porter and some other classics, but the lager is the go-to beer of choice for just about any gathering.
A close second is Coors Banquet. Not Coors Light, or regular Coors. Get Coors Banquet and your guests will be cool and refreshed for hours.
If there's a need for a light beer, there is only one that actually delivers consistently on taste, quality, and drinkability, and that is Genessee Light, or, Genny Light as it's known in upstate New York, near to the Genessee Brewery in Rochester, New York.
The big deal is craft beers and we could fill up pages and pages of the vast selection available not just in the U.S.A., but worldwide. One brewery that delivers consistently exceptional, award-winning brews is Unibroue, based in Chambly, near Quebec, Canada.